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5 Tips to Not Fuck Up Great Relationships
13 years ago
In my ten years of FAIL dating, with the wrong types, wrong people, wrong time, or whatever "wrong" thing it was, I have accumulated indispensable ways to not fuck up. However, there are things outside of anyone's control that fuck it up. We yell, call each other names, and even telling the other to make a sandwich (and genuinely not make it a sexist statement), but sometimes we all need that simple guidance that will help us get through the roughest patches in relationships.
5.) Be an Adult
What the fuck does being an adult mean? It means, taking responsibility for your own bullshit. That's right, that means if you fuck up, you fucked up. Hard. In the ass. No lube. Simply put, own up to it. So if you took out a second mortgage on the house without your wife knowing, you better damn well pay that off. Don't shift blame onto others or be defensive about your faults. If you're insecure, you admit it. To yourself, to your partner, to your friends. They will respect you for that.
Let's face it, everyone fucks up life at some point. But it's how we handle our problems that makes the difference. You can have two people with the same problem. If one shifts blame, and the other admits it, which one do you prefer if the relationship ends?
4.) Communicate
This requires you to not be emotionally retarded. If you're not sure of communicating, over-communicate. The most that can happen is people getting annoyed at you. If you don't communicate at all, you're just the biggest douchebag gracing the dating douche kingdom that ever douched. People make assumptions, ok? There's no way to prevent assumptions unless you communicate. There's something to be said about our country when we are a people swimming in the mire of our disgusting social awkwardness. Schools focus so much on academics, but soft skills like communication and teamwork are falling on the wayside. I rest my case.
3.) Be Fucking Serious
Like every hardcore gamer, you gotta be serious and committed to being the best damn thing to walk into this person's life. You damn better make sure he knows it! If you're dating for the sake of some shallow reason that's less than long-term, go home and suck your own dick. Casual dating is fine, but if you're aware, and your date is aware then it's ok. It's when you're doing it for just sex, money, etc. then it's a waste of time.
Now, that means that you don't have to be thinking of marriage right away when you're on a first date. Just be open to the possibility that it could happen. And being serious, means that you're ok with either outcome. You fall in love, or not. Whatever happens, happens, so don't get your panties in a bunch if it fails. Failure is a part of success, and that means it's inevitable.
Imagine your boyfriend become beyond just that, he's your best friend. Now think how epic this is, this is a person who is your best friend, and you're fucking him. Repeatedly. Life is good. It couldn't get any better!
2.) Respect Yourself
That means at least bathing. Getting a job, and support yourself. Plus, that's mighty damn sexy for anyone who is male/female/gay/bi/straight/transgendered/dog. Stop making excuses. Get up and present yourself in a way you like. Always improve yourself, and I mean not the, "I'm level 25 on World of Warecraft" way. Go learn something, write with proper goddamn spelling and grammar, read, write, cook, sketch, go out and have real life adventures! Build something to share with that special someone when he finally comes into your life. Stop being negative all the time. Celebrate the little successes with enthusiasm, because they are rare gems in your life.
And most of all, respect others as you would respect yourself. For instance, breaking the heart of someone you once loved without saying a word, is not something a self-respecting person would do. Any self-respecting person would have the courage to say, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart and future with me." If self-respecting person would be encountered with the choice of breaking up without a conversation with the soon-to-be ex, he would say, "Well, fuck that bullshit. Why should I dishonor myself in that way?"
Self-respecting people are honorable people.
1.) Brave Vulnerability
That means you have to be open to the possibility of being hurt. That means you got the balls to be emotionally kicked in the balls. If you can't, why be in a relationship? Relationships are not for the faint of heart, and especially when it will be broken at least once.
Anything worth pursuing is never easy. Open up yourself, and be hurt. How can you have an intimate relationship, if you can't be intimate yourself?
5.) Be an Adult
What the fuck does being an adult mean? It means, taking responsibility for your own bullshit. That's right, that means if you fuck up, you fucked up. Hard. In the ass. No lube. Simply put, own up to it. So if you took out a second mortgage on the house without your wife knowing, you better damn well pay that off. Don't shift blame onto others or be defensive about your faults. If you're insecure, you admit it. To yourself, to your partner, to your friends. They will respect you for that.
Let's face it, everyone fucks up life at some point. But it's how we handle our problems that makes the difference. You can have two people with the same problem. If one shifts blame, and the other admits it, which one do you prefer if the relationship ends?
4.) Communicate
This requires you to not be emotionally retarded. If you're not sure of communicating, over-communicate. The most that can happen is people getting annoyed at you. If you don't communicate at all, you're just the biggest douchebag gracing the dating douche kingdom that ever douched. People make assumptions, ok? There's no way to prevent assumptions unless you communicate. There's something to be said about our country when we are a people swimming in the mire of our disgusting social awkwardness. Schools focus so much on academics, but soft skills like communication and teamwork are falling on the wayside. I rest my case.
3.) Be Fucking Serious
Like every hardcore gamer, you gotta be serious and committed to being the best damn thing to walk into this person's life. You damn better make sure he knows it! If you're dating for the sake of some shallow reason that's less than long-term, go home and suck your own dick. Casual dating is fine, but if you're aware, and your date is aware then it's ok. It's when you're doing it for just sex, money, etc. then it's a waste of time.
Now, that means that you don't have to be thinking of marriage right away when you're on a first date. Just be open to the possibility that it could happen. And being serious, means that you're ok with either outcome. You fall in love, or not. Whatever happens, happens, so don't get your panties in a bunch if it fails. Failure is a part of success, and that means it's inevitable.
Imagine your boyfriend become beyond just that, he's your best friend. Now think how epic this is, this is a person who is your best friend, and you're fucking him. Repeatedly. Life is good. It couldn't get any better!
2.) Respect Yourself
That means at least bathing. Getting a job, and support yourself. Plus, that's mighty damn sexy for anyone who is male/female/gay/bi/straight/transgendered/dog. Stop making excuses. Get up and present yourself in a way you like. Always improve yourself, and I mean not the, "I'm level 25 on World of Warecraft" way. Go learn something, write with proper goddamn spelling and grammar, read, write, cook, sketch, go out and have real life adventures! Build something to share with that special someone when he finally comes into your life. Stop being negative all the time. Celebrate the little successes with enthusiasm, because they are rare gems in your life.
And most of all, respect others as you would respect yourself. For instance, breaking the heart of someone you once loved without saying a word, is not something a self-respecting person would do. Any self-respecting person would have the courage to say, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart and future with me." If self-respecting person would be encountered with the choice of breaking up without a conversation with the soon-to-be ex, he would say, "Well, fuck that bullshit. Why should I dishonor myself in that way?"
Self-respecting people are honorable people.
1.) Brave Vulnerability
That means you have to be open to the possibility of being hurt. That means you got the balls to be emotionally kicked in the balls. If you can't, why be in a relationship? Relationships are not for the faint of heart, and especially when it will be broken at least once.
Anything worth pursuing is never easy. Open up yourself, and be hurt. How can you have an intimate relationship, if you can't be intimate yourself?
My greatest fear is if people are pissed at me and though my life I found the best way to make people less pissed at me was to stop communication. I became the most quiet kid in every school class I was ever in. Ultimately those assumptions towards me have done nothing but alienate me from the world.
I shouldn't let the pussy inside me make me pussy out on being a LION! *licks tah panda* =3 I'll communicate more.
(I had a profound moment)