Asking people questions about themselves is generally one of the best ways you can get conversations going and prevent awkwardness. People usually like to talk about themselves, and if you can come up with good questions you can get a lot of great conversations going. Choosing appropriate questions is key though. Asking questions that make people uncomfortable will just result in more awkward silences. A question that might be totally valid among furry friends could be grossly inappropriate in a different circle of friends, so adapting your conversation to the people your talking to is super important. It also takes practice, so don't get discouraged if you end up getting stuck in an awkward silence sometimes, it could also have a lot to do with the nature of the person you're talking (or not talking) with. Surround yourself with interesting people that you actually want to talk to. If you can't find any common ground or anything to talk about with someone, it might just be that particular time things aren't feeling right, or maybe you just aren't meant to be good friends with them, but you can't usually determine that from just one interaction. I have nights out with friends where the energy is good and the conversations are stimulating and some nights it's different and we don't have much to say. Usually I tend to get quiet or awkward if I've smoked too much pot, but if I stick to just drinking I can talk peoples ears off. It can depend a lot on the pot too, but in general alcohol tends to help people open up. Drunk people usually have more to talk about than sober people. That's just my experience, and I understand not everyone likes to drink, but it works well for me.

"A question that might be totally valid among furry friends could be grossly inappropriate in a different circle of friends"

I'll respond once my sides stop hurting from laughing.

Yeah I have noticed that asking is good way to proceed but have been getting stuck to it constantly than it seems sometimes somehow stupid just keep asking questions without getting anywhere. Specially when I ask something simple without getting answer I just loose the hold of conversation or just constantly ask many different questions without getting any reply on those as they seems to be waiting to talk something interesting instead answering to those questions.

You seem like an interesting person given your hobbies and interests. However a lot of people that are good at extreme sports have trouble relating to the average person. Look at Seth Morrison for example. Most people think he’s pretty scary and weird but he’s really a soft and vulnerable person. Some of this has to do with appearances. People form a first impression based on how you look. If you look intimidating people will keep their distance. Fursuits looks friendly and help overcome this. I’m not saying you should change how your dress or look since that’s part of who you are. But minor changes in body language can go a long way to towards getting people to feel comfortable approaching you. A smile is very disarming, no matter how intimidating the person looks.

Conversation. Joke around with people. If you want people to interact with and you have a tough quiet outward appearance then you are going to need to initiate the interaction. You’d be surprised how often meaningful conversations start just from a simple “hello.”

Learn to listen and take an interest in other people even if they seem boring. It is often hard for people that are into extreme sports to relate because "normal" people (like Powhound) may seem boring. People like talking about themselves, especially if some seems interested. So make an effort to act interested and listen. You may be surprised.

Think about what draws others to your fursona and reach out to people in a similar way. Smile, wave, high five and talk to people. Your only going to get back what you put into it. That’s why they call them “social SKILLS.” Just like skiing you have to work at developing them.

You are not the only person trying to figure this out. What is it that you think you want to change about how others perceive you?

And I'm not good with Finnish, so can you even understand any of this?

Thanks for the tips and of course interest to this journal :3

And yeh. look good English to me to easily understand it.

Been looking at this journal for a long time now since you posted it before FA broke down and finally got time to answer.. :3

These are my opinions and my ways of doing things, they may seem wrong/right/weird whatever, but they are my ways so I'm not taking critic, ty. x3 Maybe they'll help you too.
Me, having both problems and facilitation with DiD have sometimes make decisions like "don't say anything" or "leave right now" but I'm leaving them out. Also Envy suffering from massive PD cluster C (avoidant PD) is a one thing aside that I'm not getting into. Social stuff and everything is really complicated, mainly because people tend to be different and have different attitudes towards socializing.

First of all: think. If you imagine a social gal, maybe someone you knew or just make one up: what is he like? What makes him so social and popular? Why do you like his social skills? What do you not like in his social skills? Don't try to mimic him, just think of them and press them in your mind, keep that. Following peoples in parties and other meetings and watching how they interact with each other gives you good tips and by that way you can also learn what to talk with different people. Humans are just like monkeys and learn by watching. Still do not try to mimic anyone, it only makes you look ridiculous. I would say "Just be yourself" but that's not what I really mean. "Just relax" would be a better one.
For me, I can't be social if my self-esteem is too low. Doesn't feel great talking to gorgeous and beautiful people when you are just a piece of shit and worthless scum. Also your normal mood affects of course. Going to a party sad or angry usually doesn't help me be social, tried that too. So usually before going into any social event I try to look myself in the mirror for a while, boosting my self-esteem and mood with something, like listening to music that makes me feel strong and good. (Avoid especially angry and sad music) I think this is the point where 'normal' girls do makeup too, to look pretty to get more attention and feel way more social. But let's not get into that since I neither you (Honey! Is that a mascara??!) don't use makeup.

Some people use alcohol and drugs as a can-opener, sometimes it works but let's just say it creates situations like the one: "you're so much more fun when you're drunk". I use alcohol from time to time. Usually helps but I also get cuddly, I'm sure you have noticed that tho..... (+1000 cuddly points for me, yay! ) so it doesn't really help at socializing, mainly just getting company & off.. Envy uses it for PD seizures and it relaxes her, making being social possible even for someone who really can't. Smoking is actually great for socializing, since smoking breaks are always place to discuss interesting stuff just happened inside. Smoking weed is not so good, since it makes you want to do more self-examination than socialize.

Friends can be another thing too: I very rarely go into new parties with new people without someone I know. Mainly because I know I will just sit quietly in the corner if no one talks to me first and no one will so I bring a friend and we go socializing together. It helps to have someone to return if no one talks to you, or then if you feel like it, you can just ride on your friends social skills and talk with someone they are hanging with and try to start from there. Requires a social skilled friend tho, or just a gal who knows the party members!

Once you get to know the person you're socializing with, it should get easier. As someone said above, asking about the other person is a really good start. People love to tell about themselves but don't really wanna listen about your stuff unless it has funny stuff, someone almost dying or dying, or it includes them. Harsh truth, but that's just how I see people. Be careful when making jokes and stories, especially if joking about the people you're with. I've seen you make some really bad jokes or tell stories that have mostly just hurt people or made them go "eh...". Be relaxed, it's totally a good thing - but don't just blunt everything out.

That's it for today, I'm too tired to write anymore. We can discuss more later on Christmas if you want. *lick*

Tahdon vain kirjoittaa kirjan ihmispsykologiasta.. Tätä tekstiä tulis loputtomasti. ;_;
Toivottavasti oli jotain apua!

Going read this one later as those two text wall made me already tired.