I need sleep.

Hello, my name is Ian. I have used several aliases in the past; Obitelji, Orinxados, Ozarbios, Zyxroo. Ian in varieties of kangaroo, skunk, badger, bragon. I have a confession. I have depression. I mean, obviously. But...Due to it, every relationship I have, both love and friendships, I have sorta...Mentally abused people. And it sucks, it's stupid, that I've mentally abused every boyfriend, and scraped every friend. And I hit another rough patch recently, leading to some...Unsavory actions yet again. To be honest, I should not have been in any relationship at all since I joined the furry community, heck, arguably before then. It's hard to really love yourself when your brain does everything in its power to point out otherwise.

I would like to personally apologize to each of them here, but I'd rather not embarrass them, much more, a good amount don't even want me to speak their names anymore. Probably also doesn't help that with all the medications I've bounced around on, some memories have more or less faded, albeit recently one swung around and it seems that neither of us really realized we healed--Or at least, remembering them definitely brought back pain of what I've done. So for their sake, I'd like to keep their anonymity. If they'd like to come and speak up, I will do my best to pull from my stupid brain and offer a better apology to them. Okay, but it's one thing for me to say sorry. What's the difference now, considering I've done it so many fucking times? Well, that's the thing.

Here on out, starting today, timer starting at the beginning of next month (October), I will be abstaining from anymore romantic relationships going forward for the next two years, bare minimum. Even if I fall in love, I will have to either wait till I know I am well enough to actually be a proper part of someone's life, or just have the one that got away. I even have some friends that will hopefully help me not falter and forget in this. So technically it's a month and two years, but specifics aside.

Second; even though I think I show some pretty obvious signs when I'm depressed, I'll be setting up a sort of safety net and support group to reach out to when I'm down. Along with that, I noticed a few other...Problems with me that get me into the trouble I've caused; my own sensitivity and getting caught up in my own emotions. I will be working on those as well as other things with therapy and, well, I guess life. Friends can help out, too, just, I owe y'all even more than I already typically do.

As for a third ultimatum and change to better avoid any future catastrophes, I haven't really actually thought of one, which I guess I don't NEED one, but it'd be nice to round it out. So I guess, uh, if people have suggestions, I'm open and listening. It's...Really sad and pathetic it took me this long, with how much shit I've done, how many times I've repeated these stupid, avoidable mistakes. Heck, sometimes I wonder if I deserve harsher punishments than burned bridges and countless heartache. But...Better late than never, I guess.

I understand there's people who don't want to see and hear from me ever again, and I don't blame them. My brain, as mentioned, has been very poor at...Retaining and keeping memories. Going forward, if you don't want me in your life, please please PLEASE let me know just straight up, just tell me. There's two people I'm aware of, and will keep them out of my life until I'm deceased. Even if our relationships fail, I would still like to upkeep some modicum of respect, just as beings, and keep my distance, instead of either accidentally bumping into you again in the future, or even reminiscing and reaching out like a dumbass. And it's stupid and rude of me to ask of this, especially of those that want to stay DNI, but again, there's not much I can do with what I don't know. If it's easier on you, tell a friend, or a friend of a friend, or shoot my friends a message, something.

There'll be a few changes here on this profile, too--nothing bad or negative. A friend of mine let me know that some artist like it when they have more visual representation for commissions that I request, even if it's poorly drawn. I have a list of commissions, but I still wanna share my ideas, so you might see me flood my scraps with ideas of commissions or changes/updates, and instead of having a chance to lose it on my computer, I'd rather it be uploaded somewhere, so y'all get to see my silly trash here haha. Sorry not sorry.

But that's about all I have to talk about here for now. Won't really see me on Bluesky because VPNs hate me and so does the American state I reside in. So best to catch me is here again, I guess, and also on Discord and Telegram, too. I think they're already open for people to reach out if anyone is curious to try to start a friendship, but, y'know, if you ever are curious about my whereabouts and ongoings, that's where to catch me. Sorry if the actual friendship system on Discord and Telegram was severed. Friend told me to run, I ran, and after running....Well. I remember last time why I hated running, and did my best to stop. Again, caught up in my feelings. But yeah. I will see y'all around. Thank you for your time, and even effort for those I've exhausted. I appreciate it.

Yeahhhhh, definitely not agreeing. I still need to get off Twitter too, because jesus fucc it's just all conservatives trying to get a blowie. But I'm tired, and with FA loosening the laws on pedophilia and the like, along with Dragoneer just still being, y'know, shady. So sadly, all my commissions and gifts I've gotten are just most likely not going to have a home. Ink Bunny is apparently just as filled with cub stuff, So Furry is...There, not many people there though. Maybe some furry site that isn't garbo and sus will appear and be proper. Until then, see you all in another place.

God I don't use this site too much. But! I am Yhendori, I also go by Ian. I'm more-so a commissioner and game streamer if anything. There's not really much to talk about.

I tend to upload pieces of art in bursts over time. All art I get is commissioned or otherwise gifted. Please don't repost any of it, and go give the artists that did all the hard work all the love, affection, and attention for being so patient and working with me!

If you want to interact with me or come by and watch me play games, you can reach me at these places!:
https://twitter.com/yhendori
https://www.twitch.tv/yhendori

Thank you all for your time and taking a visit. Hope you all have an amazing day, or life!

Hey all! For those curious, I have sorta given up writing to an extent, and have mostly just taken up streaming and commissioning art. You'll see most of my commissions here on FA from now on. If you wanted to join me in watching me stream, you can find me here!: https://www.twitch.tv/yhendori

But anyways, writing has been turned off for now. I do have plans on *trying* to do Novelember (Writing a novel for November) buuuut we'll see how that works out with life and stuff. Otherwise, again, you can catch me on twitch, or even on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/yhendori

Not much else to really say. Just expect to see more commissions posted in the future.