Hey guys!
Life is making a great and wonderful turn for me.
I"m medicated, i have great friends, a great community. I have wonderful roommates and people around where i live are nice and wonderful.
I have decided a few weeks ago to stop smoking and doing drugs that some of you are aware of and some of you are just finding out i had done cannabis for my coping mechanism towards mental struggles and overall pain. It took alot and i still had major panic attacks but luckily those are getting less and less frequent. I am starting to find peace in myself and my work, and i know i'm slowed down a bit from the emergency commissions and i apologize. I realized now that i have time to myself and able to slow down I needed to reflect on alot of things in my life i was upset about and i hated my own self worth and my skills and felt i wasn't good enough. I realize more and more how i'm fine as long as i do my best making my art for everyohne for my and other's to enjoy. I'm starting to find enjoyment just in drawing and not because i need to but because it's my calling in life, it's my meaning. If you find meaning in waht you do then that is what your life is meaningful for. I have both NSFW aquaphilia art and Stick Figure Animations that i enjoy very much and others really love it too or i wouldn't have such a great community in both sides here for me. I have to thank you all for helping me make it here so far.

I want to let otehrs know that even if i havne't uploaded them yet, i will continue to make Sinktember, it's important to me, it might bleed into next month but i still care about making it happen. I have held onto alot of pain and i want to overcome it, and it will be harder for me than i thought but acknowledging that and moving forward even if i'm late isn't the point of creating at all. Time doesn't wait but time is also our own perception so regardless of when i upload and create as long as i do is what truly matters.

I have recently had someone come after me for them gifting me money to help me and my partner who was with me at the time to move and has began threatening me with court orders specifically for gifting me money and demanding it back. I feel that i did my best to calm the situation but they refuse to listen to me and are still demanding i return the money we used to help us move and nothing else. I am not asking anyone to help me with it because i believe it is negligible amount of money. For a long time i've dealt with people who manipulated me into giving them my time, my art, my money and my love and i'm tired of rolling over for people like that. I'm willing to fight for my right to my own life and I will not ask people to pay for my decision to refuse them. For those who do know who i'm talking about i ask that you keep them anonymous, for those who don't i do not want them to be harassed, they are a vindictive and untrustworthy person who even manipulated my partner before we moved and after we seperated.

This post is essentially to get some things off my chest and let you guys know i'm okay and i'm recovering, i have a fantastic community that i dont want to keep begging for help anymore. I want to be stronger and it requires me to first acknowledge what i've done and to do better. You guys never gave up on me and i refuse to give up and to roll over for those who took advantage of me for so long. First it was my family, then it was bad actors calling me their friend. You guys never did that. You guys here have always been here for me and while i realize i need to keep my mental walls up, I am willing to be empathetic and hear you out for all your struggles. You guys are my creative life force and I can't wait to fully recover from my trauma to make it a beautiful new set of art in my gallery for my coming future and our future together.

Thank you guys so much. I can't thank you enough for your wonderful patience and inspiration for me and others around you.