Spike, if you can read this...I believe your Discord has been compromised. Your account tried to lay the ol' "Check out my game" Spacers.exe on me. I'm like 86% sure that wasn't you, and I'd like to be able to talk to you again. Reach out to me.


This year I decided to go to Bewhiskered instead of FWA. There are a number of reasons for this: For one thing the organizational/management side of FWA has been increasingly disappointing ever since the pandemic, and it has gotten to the point where it's having a negative impact on the experience. Friends who used to run parties I regularly attended have fled the south, and the theme falling flat this year gave me a good excuse to sit it out. I've also been trying to pay off my debts and spending a ton of money on the Mariott Marquis while an economic depression is looming just didn't make a lot of sense to me. Bewhiskered is smaller, cheaper, and while not perfect is a lot better run.

It was also all me, like back in the old days before I really knew anyone, floating from con to con like a ghost just for the experience of it. My regular roommate was leaving for Seattle to visit a girlfriend. To make the stay more affordable I reached out to a person flying in from Alaska whose roommates had ghosted him (dating drama) for most of the stay, but one day of the stay had already been spoken for by a close friend of mine whom I hadn't seen in years, and their partner. Needless to say, this caused serious conflict when the guest I was helping out to be a pal was unable to source a room on the one night that I couldn't host him. Normally I would have tried to find a compromise but this time, out of fairness to my old friend and their partner; who did not know this person and wanted some private time... I put my foot down.

I do not like being the bad guy or the source of another person's misery. I understand it is a trait that some people seek out and even admire, but my personality is seemingly hard-wired to have a hard line between personal selfishness and taking actions at the direct expense of others. I think part of the problem too was that it was their first con, and when they opened up to me about their intentions for going it became clear that they had gotten the wrong idea about how conventions work. I advised them to try making real friends instead of just fuck-buddies, and to their credit they took my advice and had a richer con experience...or at least they were able to turn things around; he looked a lot happier when I last saw him.

Bewhiskered's theme was a kind of 80's Arcade, and I thought it was ok, though it wasn't anywhere near as integrated into the con experience as their first couple of themes were. I had heard that the con had gone downhill a little bit since some original staff members were forced out (drama). Seems like regardless of that, it's generally pretty well run. Con ops was on-point too and helped me recover a blanket that I had set down and misplaced after purchasing. Another interesting thing of note is the new furry card game, Royalty, which had a major hand in the convention (I think they were one of the GOH). Having come up during the days of Furoticon, it was kind of strange to see another group taking a stab at it. Unlike most CCG's, this one can be played with only one deck and is pretty fast paced. They also have a non-disruptive way for people to submit their own characters to the game, adopting a model similar to what Fursona pins has. Favorite things about the con were the Church of Baja Blast panel, and all the Easter Eggs hidden around the con space. Trading panel was nice too; managed to get rid of some stuff I was probably just going to dump at Goodwill.

Another observation: It is extremely weird seeing these smaller cons trying to do Night Markets. I've said it before that I like the idea of giving the adult side of the fandom its own space for representation, but there is usually always some flaw in how they go about doing it. At FWA, it's disorganization (a reputational disaster waiting to happen). At Megaplex it was inexperience (people got the wrong idea about expected behaviors). At Bewhiskered the problem was, funnily enough, being too conservative. The small size of the larger con meant the night market was even smaller, erected in a room that was too small for the draw without enough vendors to make the draw sustainable. IMO, things of this nature should probably only be left to cons of a larger size because the small ones are still in the process of community building and a robust community is important for keeping people honest and preventing things from getting out of hand. I get that the other cons will all feel like they need one to "stay competitive" but I personally believe that it isn't a competition....that all the cons should be supporting each other and be doing what's best for the health of the fandom. It's magical thinking because things like interpersonal drama exists, but still.

I know I said I planned to scale back and eventually leave. I've already put some of those plans into motion and sitting out FWA for the first time since 2010 (voluntarily) is part of that. I may resolve to cross a few more cons off my 'bucket list' before I leave for good. I don't know though, because this time was the first time I've ever felt at peace with being socially orphaned...a ghost...and having the experience anyways just for the sake of having it; which is weird because plenty of things happened at this con that would have normally crushed me or deadened my experience. None of them did, and I left feeling a sense of freedom and agency I haven't felt before. I don't know when or even if there will be a 'next one', but I do think it may be best to try and accept fading into the background of other people's lives for a while, rather than fighting to be a part of it all and getting nowhere.