Just kinda dumping my thoughts and maybe even past and sometimes current vulnerabilities maybe lol. For a while now I get a lot of very amazing praise from you guys about liking my art style, and I can never be happier every time I hear that, even if my reactions can be lukewarm at best. I've just always had issues actually expressing myself beyond a threshold... X.x Regardless, it is incredibly significant to me for many reasons.

I learned how to draw more advanced shapes and features by literally tracing over my Pokémon VHS boxes and books. Then I continued to do lost of the same by really imitating things the best I can. This is a perfectly natural way to go about learning to draw as a kid but the thing is... I never saw my "style" in any of it. For me, everything was always an imperfect imitation of something else as far as style. I never realized this until recently but I always looked more at my world building than my actual art, I had more fun creating than trying to actually make art persay...

Then time came where I considered taking commissions. My doubt really started to show at this point. I was always praised for my skills growing up, but no one really knew how to look for things like "Style" or anatomy, etc. I was just 'better' than they were they thought and that's pretty much all I've coasted on, and happily so. So when it came to actually facing a world wide community, that shift in expectation really killed me. I started off with 3$ full body sketch work

Then came the surprise. You guys really took me in so welcomingly and loved my work, being able to give more detailed reasons WHY you liked it. The feedback has always been more vivid than it ever really was before besides for a stark few. Oddly though only fairly recently (like a few years I mean) have I rally started thinking about style again. I still found myself just assuming myself just an imperfect imitation of whatever other artist I had in mind during those commissions. But it didn't occur to me how consistent those "imperfections" were. It didn't occur to me, until plenty of you had brought it up, that I had a unique style at all. It warms my heart to know that, much more than I imagined it would before! Thank you!

I've also been pretty guilty though. I pretty much had a very smooth journey with my art life, only every wavered by my own insecurities and mental health issues. And I know so many have never had such a luxury, Their stories are what made me worry starting off here in the first place! I like to try to spread attention and genuine praise everywhere whenever I have the time anymore. I just feel guilty I've always had it good and so so many do not :c and I just don't want to take what I got for granted due to that but I also don't want to bask in it too much while others suffer to even get so much as a "good job".

Thank you all so much for bringing me even this far. And please, go that little out of your way to give some praise to starting artists! I beg you ;w;


Have a good day!

P. S
Wanted to add the fact my developing environment was different too then any younger artists today. I was mostly forced to settle with local settings. Despite my verbal bullying, none could really help but admit to my talent over theirs in art. And in a local setting, there aren't too many to compare you with.

Artists developing these days now likely stick to online, but unfortunate there is where you are compared to so many. It's a ruthless environment to build from I feel unless you just have inconceivable natural talent to start off making full fledged illustrations. I fear even when they DO get praise it's no longer a "oh your so good!" but more "oh you're so good for a newbie artist!" you know?

Maybe I just don't really understand and it isn't really that bad but I just worry for them I guess.