The worst place to be during a full-on Zombie outbreak would be a church. Given that it is scientifically proven that repetitive actions such as chanting cause lower-brain activity, any normally firing neurons are going to draw extra attention to you. Since most religious individuals will not be prepared for the Apocalypse, they will immediately turn to their God to save them, and run to His holy home. Though many older churches have a fortress like appearance and their high windows would give initial comfort, enough zombies surrounding the building will eventually be able to pile on top of each other and break in.

In even the best case, your weapons option would most likely be to tear down an organ pipe and hope you can try and bludgeon faster than the zombies can bleed and grab.

Plus, the limited amount of supplies. The Body-of-Christ cracker might be passable for a brunch snack when washed down with a miniature shot glass of grape juice, but Jesus is heavy on carbs and low on everything else.

Besides, you know who was the first zombie was anyway? Jesus. You really shouldn’t be anywhere near that guy.