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Registered: August 19, 2018 06:42:47 PM
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❖ Tori ❖ GenderFluid ❖ ███ ❖ 22 ❖ She/They/Princess ❖ Cancer ❖
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Featured Submission
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Comments Earned: 23
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Comments Made: 33
Journals: 5
Featured Journal
Life Rant + Art Update (G)
7 years ago・°☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ・°☆━━✭━━☆°・━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆°・
Hiya everyone~!
Long time no talk/see/update!
I wanted to take the time to do an update that is long since overdue. My life is absolutely everywhere. I went from living with my partner and fighting for custody of his kids to now me trying to put distance between us before I resent him entirely. Due to the courts delaying his move out here with me, I had to go through a big financially stressful time. I thought once he moved here it would be better but the delay caused him to lose out on his job he secured here before moving. So now ALL financial burdens are on me. I don't like the situation I am in at all. I also feel like since living together I noticed a lot of emotional abuse and bullshit I don't wanna deal with. I have to big of a heart to tell him everything I am feeling. I love him still, but I don't think it's the same kind of love anymore. I struggle with my mental health (I have been diagnosed with sever depression and BPD and going back to re-evaluate for possible DID) as it stands already, and I feel like all this added stress was something I wasn't prepared for.
I wasn't really planning on moving in with him in the first place? I was escaping a different more physically abusive relationship at the time looking for a place on my own when I met him. We were both in bad places and I wanted to help. Now I don't know how to back out. He was supposed to cover 800 in rent and help with some utilities. I am now responsible for 1600 in rent plus water, hydro, and gas. Not to mention my phone bill, my car insurance, the internet here, and of course we both gotta eat so that's on me too.
If I could... I would find him a nice place in his home town again and send him back.... I feel terrible for bringing him out here but I can easily find roommates to help cover the cost of the townhouse I'm living in instead of trying to pay for it entirely myself. Especially when my partner doesn't approve of the work I do so even the process of making the money to pay for the bills is now stressful.
So simply... I tried to escape one really bad situation, and I replaced it with another. I didn't even have time to process the first bad situation because after I left it I put my troubles on the back burner to deal with this guys issues because my heart tries to take care of everyone it sees hurting around it besides itself.
Art Stuff
I want to ignore my issues (LOL thats not healthy) by funneling my attention on art. So a few different things I want to say here. I'm looking for someone to do a possible collab with? I'm hoping we can work together on the overall design, but then split the line/colour/detailing portions. I'm thinking babyfur Easter theme since it's quickly approaching, that way we can put out the YCH, and have it finished for everyone to post by Easter weekend.
Also, I recently bought a sexy YCH pack thingy so I will be quickly pumping out some close up NSFW shots if anyone is interested. They will be unlimited slots, but I'm limiting how many I take on at a time.
SHORT VERSION
Mental health and life is crazy, financially struggling badly. Wanting to kill myself. Trying to funnel my attention on art instead. Looking for another artist for a possible collab. I want to make more furry friends, telegram is TinyEmoKitty
Thankies for reading!
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