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Spank the Maid is a timeless and celebrated song accompanied by its own dance routine, and is commonly sung and performed by all races and cultures across Tamriel.
It is however only performed by the most talented of bards, due to its exceptional length, and the intricate detail of its verses.
And thanks again to
caedere for handling the character colors and shading!
Spank the Maid is a timeless and celebrated song accompanied by its own dance routine, and is commonly sung and performed by all races and cultures across Tamriel.
It is however only performed by the most talented of bards, due to its exceptional length, and the intricate detail of its verses.
And thanks again to
caedere for handling the character colors and shading!
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 900 x 2038px
File Size 1.95 MB
Listed in Folders
The best unnarmed perk ever is Fists of Steel, which converts all your heavy armor points into damage points THAT ARE ADDED TO YOUR UNARMED FISTS ATTACKS (with ANY PLUS DERIVED FROM LEVELED PERKS AND BETTERING YOUR GEAR AT A WORKBENCH)...If you use that shit with a Kahjiit, the race that has the iron claws damage plus by DEFAULT, you're up for a fun ride PUNCHING MUDDAFACKING DRAGONS OUT OF EXISTENCE
I imagine "Spank the Maid" having a similar cadence to the "Blunt the Knives" dwarven song dang to Bilbo
"Come on in and spank the maid!
Bosmers first for a booty raid!
Turn those cheeks a rosy red
Show her how to make a bed!
Fill her cup without warning
'Til the rise of Middas morning
For the maid is there to serve
Not just mead but lip and curve
Dirty pillows you shall make
And many desires shall you slake
But then when time knocks at the door
Get her up to mop the floor."
"Come on in and spank the maid!
Bosmers first for a booty raid!
Turn those cheeks a rosy red
Show her how to make a bed!
Fill her cup without warning
'Til the rise of Middas morning
For the maid is there to serve
Not just mead but lip and curve
Dirty pillows you shall make
And many desires shall you slake
But then when time knocks at the door
Get her up to mop the floor."
Delphine is officially, DONE with this shit. She doesn't even care anymore that The Dragonborn is in no fit state, she'll drag him up the mountain by her tail and throwing the "wilting maid" at Alduin's face.
At worst, at least she'll only have to deal with a normal dragon invasion plus one innkeeper turned Khajitt concubine.
At best, maybe the curse will grab the egomaniacal dragon and she'll have to deal with three of them......actually maybe this would be the worst case scenario.
At worst, at least she'll only have to deal with a normal dragon invasion plus one innkeeper turned Khajitt concubine.
At best, maybe the curse will grab the egomaniacal dragon and she'll have to deal with three of them......actually maybe this would be the worst case scenario.
Dragonborn "I'm so FUCKED now, since she threw me under the beer wagon." "Oi, do you expect me to defeat the dragons with my charms?" Nope. We want you to use your mighty power Fus Ro Dah to sing the "come hither" and slay the Dragon. We'll draw lots to see who has to plow you for inspiration from behind for the excited exaltations. And the saga of Dragonborn was made with a screaming orgasm that slew the foul dragon.
Admittedly, this was still probably a much shorter misadventure than what the dragonborn normally gets up to. Like when they do nothing about the dragons for a few weeks because they're busy making pacts with all of the most evil gods in exchange for cool weapons, or when they decided that hunting vampires was more interesting than killing dragons. And of course there's also that time where they decided to just go visit another country that didn't exist 20 minutes ago for no reason besides because they feel like it, and not leave for over a month.
The thing is; he would have done his job... buuuuut... he's cursed to be the lust argonian maiden...
So yeah, you could blame hi-her for not dong her job... but there is the one that put the curse on he-him in the first place.
He's still about and is over there laughing his head off.
So yeah, you could blame hi-her for not dong her job... but there is the one that put the curse on he-him in the first place.
He's still about and is over there laughing his head off.
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