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2021 Review: A pretty stressful year
4 years ago
As some as you know I work all the time, and needless to say I am absolutely done with the medical industry. I commend all the professionals and workers that work in the medical field as it takes truly hardened people to endure all the stressful things put on their plate. Each night was an uncomfortable sleep, dreading the next work day. I had bad jobs before, but this really wasn't a bad job on the surface, there was no dumpster fire in sight. However, it was certainly a slow burn though. I learned a bit more about myself though.
I cannot deal with sick or dying people, even indirectly, the thought fills me with anxiety. Heck, on Monday I went to the hospital due to being extremely sick (feeling much better after they pumped me full of fluids ♥) this one lady talked to me in the waiting room about herself and her condition, it was a nice conversation that I honestly needed, a nice distraction from the horrible pain I was in. But that 10 minute conversation, knowing that she has a progressing nerve disease still aches me. I want to do something to fix it, but I know I am powerless to do anything about it. And that is a feeling I hate most, the feeling of powerlessness, that nothing in the current world can fix the problem. It eats at me, a lot more than what I am willing to show. I've had several breakdowns in the past two years when I spent entire evenings crying, knowing that good people I met, are going to die. I cannot save them. No one can save them. The only solution is waiting until the end. That thought breaks me. I think the event of losing people affects me much more than others. Feeling helpless, drastically affects me as well.
Of course, I tried a different job in the medical field that didn't have me dealing with people. Still no, I am a very social person. For those that hung out with me at MFF, I was running all over the place chatting with many, many people. Me and a few friends (Sorry guys!) feets were aching at the end of the day from just running around. I am very much a people person. Heck, right now, I somehow been able to tolerate the worst boss in the world, that I've been working with for 5 years. He is aggravating as heck but somehow I was able to tolerate him and the work I do for him. Needless to say, the career I seek definitely involves working with others.
Work has been by far the most stressful thing I've dealt with all year, last year was just as bad. I normally keep the frustrations to myself, or try to joke about it, or try to find some light in it, but I cannot keep it hidden under the surface. Medical work is not meant for me. It will, and honestly has, broke me.
As of right now, I'm tolerating my current job until I can find another. I need a better career more suitable for me.
_
On a brighter note, this year has been amazing for new games. I fucking love Monster Hunter Rise and Monster Hunter Stories. I can easily gush about several other games that came out this year.
Not to mention all the wonderful art, and, a whole new comic (which is 10 pages done) that is on my pal Wolfy's patreon is in progress.
I also cannot forget the wonderful people I hung out this year. You guys are the reason why I can tolerate soul destroying work and keep going.
Plus, this was the best con year by far. Both DenFur and MFF was a total blast, I need to make sure I buy walking shoes designed for marathons because my feet hurt after each day at the cons.
-
Right now my plans for 2022 is to get a new career path and keep practicing more arts. I learned how to make animated telegram stickers, brushed up on my sculpting among many other things. My father is an artist, grew up surrounded by art, might as well keep the family legacy going.
I cannot deal with sick or dying people, even indirectly, the thought fills me with anxiety. Heck, on Monday I went to the hospital due to being extremely sick (feeling much better after they pumped me full of fluids ♥) this one lady talked to me in the waiting room about herself and her condition, it was a nice conversation that I honestly needed, a nice distraction from the horrible pain I was in. But that 10 minute conversation, knowing that she has a progressing nerve disease still aches me. I want to do something to fix it, but I know I am powerless to do anything about it. And that is a feeling I hate most, the feeling of powerlessness, that nothing in the current world can fix the problem. It eats at me, a lot more than what I am willing to show. I've had several breakdowns in the past two years when I spent entire evenings crying, knowing that good people I met, are going to die. I cannot save them. No one can save them. The only solution is waiting until the end. That thought breaks me. I think the event of losing people affects me much more than others. Feeling helpless, drastically affects me as well.
Of course, I tried a different job in the medical field that didn't have me dealing with people. Still no, I am a very social person. For those that hung out with me at MFF, I was running all over the place chatting with many, many people. Me and a few friends (Sorry guys!) feets were aching at the end of the day from just running around. I am very much a people person. Heck, right now, I somehow been able to tolerate the worst boss in the world, that I've been working with for 5 years. He is aggravating as heck but somehow I was able to tolerate him and the work I do for him. Needless to say, the career I seek definitely involves working with others.
Work has been by far the most stressful thing I've dealt with all year, last year was just as bad. I normally keep the frustrations to myself, or try to joke about it, or try to find some light in it, but I cannot keep it hidden under the surface. Medical work is not meant for me. It will, and honestly has, broke me.
As of right now, I'm tolerating my current job until I can find another. I need a better career more suitable for me.
_
On a brighter note, this year has been amazing for new games. I fucking love Monster Hunter Rise and Monster Hunter Stories. I can easily gush about several other games that came out this year.
Not to mention all the wonderful art, and, a whole new comic (which is 10 pages done) that is on my pal Wolfy's patreon is in progress.
I also cannot forget the wonderful people I hung out this year. You guys are the reason why I can tolerate soul destroying work and keep going.
Plus, this was the best con year by far. Both DenFur and MFF was a total blast, I need to make sure I buy walking shoes designed for marathons because my feet hurt after each day at the cons.
-
Right now my plans for 2022 is to get a new career path and keep practicing more arts. I learned how to make animated telegram stickers, brushed up on my sculpting among many other things. My father is an artist, grew up surrounded by art, might as well keep the family legacy going.
They really couldn't care less, as soon as I mentioned social media they pretty much stopped listening, it was clear they had better things to deal with.