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Update and Moving On
3 years ago
It's been a time and a half since I've checked in on this profile and I thought it might help for everyone who watches me and wonders where I've gone to have an idea of how and where I am.
My life is going pretty nicely overall, I've had some ups and downs in equal measure but my recent months have been really amazing in terms of making progress on my transition. I use a female name and pronouns, I dress in women's clothing and carry a purse. I present as fully female in my day-to-day life and couldn't be happier to be doing so. My life's going well and I feel happy and fulfilled and like my real self. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy in January and would like to get bottom surgery in future so I am medically transitioning.
In terms of what this means for my involvement here on this site, I have to say that my interest in this site has really diminished of late. It's getting harder and harder for me to come back to this profile. I don't want to get rid of the art I have and all the memories it represents for me, but it's also hard to look at such a conspicuous reminder of my life pre-transition. So I don't come around here a lot any more for that sort of reason.
Part of it is feeling disconnected and alienated, for obvious reasons, from my pre-trans fursona and art, but beyond that, I also realise that I'm not quite in touch with the idea of being a furry or a scaly any more.
For me, choosing to be a visibly non-human Nile Crocodile was a way of escaping and rejecting my humanity. Because deep down, I didn't like my body or myself and I wanted something that wouldn't remind me of that. In other words, it was an expression of my gender dysphoria. I'll never stop being part of this community at least in some part, but I think my days of representing myself as something furry or scaly or over. And as a result of that, I find myself wanting to distance myself from this old haunt of mine just because I feel like it doesn't click with my interests quite as well as it used to. My feelings and emotions about this site are complex in general so it's a complicated place for me to be. I am not going to be active on this profile in future. I probably won't delete it, but I'm not going to really do anything with it either. It was a good time in my life, but I think it's increasingly time for me to move on.
If anyone wants to contact me or otherwise just touch base, I'm always happy to chat via Telegram or Discord and happy to provide that to those who ask. ^^
To summarise: My transition is going well, I'm happy and fulfilled, but I'm also not going to be active on this profile in future.
My life is going pretty nicely overall, I've had some ups and downs in equal measure but my recent months have been really amazing in terms of making progress on my transition. I use a female name and pronouns, I dress in women's clothing and carry a purse. I present as fully female in my day-to-day life and couldn't be happier to be doing so. My life's going well and I feel happy and fulfilled and like my real self. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy in January and would like to get bottom surgery in future so I am medically transitioning.
In terms of what this means for my involvement here on this site, I have to say that my interest in this site has really diminished of late. It's getting harder and harder for me to come back to this profile. I don't want to get rid of the art I have and all the memories it represents for me, but it's also hard to look at such a conspicuous reminder of my life pre-transition. So I don't come around here a lot any more for that sort of reason.
Part of it is feeling disconnected and alienated, for obvious reasons, from my pre-trans fursona and art, but beyond that, I also realise that I'm not quite in touch with the idea of being a furry or a scaly any more.
For me, choosing to be a visibly non-human Nile Crocodile was a way of escaping and rejecting my humanity. Because deep down, I didn't like my body or myself and I wanted something that wouldn't remind me of that. In other words, it was an expression of my gender dysphoria. I'll never stop being part of this community at least in some part, but I think my days of representing myself as something furry or scaly or over. And as a result of that, I find myself wanting to distance myself from this old haunt of mine just because I feel like it doesn't click with my interests quite as well as it used to. My feelings and emotions about this site are complex in general so it's a complicated place for me to be. I am not going to be active on this profile in future. I probably won't delete it, but I'm not going to really do anything with it either. It was a good time in my life, but I think it's increasingly time for me to move on.
If anyone wants to contact me or otherwise just touch base, I'm always happy to chat via Telegram or Discord and happy to provide that to those who ask. ^^
To summarise: My transition is going well, I'm happy and fulfilled, but I'm also not going to be active on this profile in future.
Even though I can't every say i'll ever feel something like what you did pre-transition, and the feeling you must get looking back at something that was at least a decent large part of that previous life.
I will miss seeing your characters, and the occasional new commission upload but it'll be of great comfort knowing the reason you left was because you are now happy with your life, and not because of tragedy like so many others leave because of.
I definitely wanted to share this for folks who know me and want to know what's going on with my life to be reassuring.
To clarify, I might check in here or there from time to time, but that will mostly be maintenance and making sure people aren't worried about where I am and what have you.
Best of luck in your future and may life treat you well!
However, I have to do what is right for me, and what makes me happy. I'll always have at least some connection to this community through my friends and possible cons. But this particular site will probably play a far smaller role.
But I do feel a bit more distant from it than once I did so I do have to parse out my connection with it.