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Wanting vs. Having
5 years ago
Hello Fuzzballs.
Hope you are all having a wonderful December so far. With Christmas being just around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of wanting versus having.
And i think it would be interesting to see how other's feel about this.
Do you want something? Have you wanted something and gotten it? It feels great, doesn't it? But the interesting part is, for how long do you maintain that great feeling?
For one, i believe it's heavily dependent on which item we're talking about. Is it money? I personally cannot agree with people that say "Money doesn't make you happier". The more the better.
But how about items? Cars perhaps. Or various little things that you enjoy in your everyday life.
I think most of us have a certain dream car. Or perhaps multiple, some more realistic than others. Have you already bought your dream car? If so, is it already a normal part of your daily life that you do not really think about anymore? Or are you just as happy about it as the day you received it?
How about art? Do you still feel just as good about commissioning that one artist you always wanted art from?
I often look at certain items in my home that makes me smile pretty much every day. So these items give me more happiness compared to whatever else i may have wanted at some point.
Should we even care about this? Should we evaluating happiness of materialism? I think it's an interesting discussion.
And the big question, can we connect this theory to human relationships?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill
Let me know your thoughts.
Hope you are all having a wonderful December so far. With Christmas being just around the corner, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of wanting versus having.
And i think it would be interesting to see how other's feel about this.
"Materialism exists because we get excited about something, want to own it, get it, grow used to it,
and then strive again for the "wanting" high by identifying a new thing to covet.
The cycle can be endless,
and even if you're aware of it, it can be tough to break because wanting something
just feels so darn good sometimes. "Do you want something? Have you wanted something and gotten it? It feels great, doesn't it? But the interesting part is, for how long do you maintain that great feeling?
For one, i believe it's heavily dependent on which item we're talking about. Is it money? I personally cannot agree with people that say "Money doesn't make you happier". The more the better.
But how about items? Cars perhaps. Or various little things that you enjoy in your everyday life.
I think most of us have a certain dream car. Or perhaps multiple, some more realistic than others. Have you already bought your dream car? If so, is it already a normal part of your daily life that you do not really think about anymore? Or are you just as happy about it as the day you received it?
How about art? Do you still feel just as good about commissioning that one artist you always wanted art from?
I often look at certain items in my home that makes me smile pretty much every day. So these items give me more happiness compared to whatever else i may have wanted at some point.
Should we even care about this? Should we evaluating happiness of materialism? I think it's an interesting discussion.
And the big question, can we connect this theory to human relationships?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedonic_treadmill
Let me know your thoughts.
No, you can't literally "Buy" happiness. We all know that.
BUT you can easily buy items, services, experiences that will make you happy momentarily. And if you have enough money, you can simply keep doing that forever.
And security plays a huge role in our lives, yes. Not knowing if you'll have a place to call home tomorrow (or whatever else it may be), must be one of the worst feelings imaginable. (Second to running out of catnip, of course.)
I hope you manage to grab some then.
But in 3 years from getting it, we might not even care about that specific piece anymore. (So why bother?)
Is it worth the moment of happiness for you?
Or perhaps the experience of getting the artwork is fun and joy-filled in some way that makes it all worth it simply because of the journey you went through to get it.
Regardless, I think craving the feeling one has wanting over the feeling one has having is unhealthy and should be called out. It's a lust that, if gone unchecked, may never be satisfied--like an addiction.
I don't think anyone would strictly deny themselves a purchase they could be making, just to retain the feeling of wanting. But you never know.
But in that scenario, would the fact that you know you could actually just get the item, result in less happiness of wanting in the first place? Who knows..
But remember to take care of yourself too. ♥
I guess I am lucky, since I care minimally about objects of the real world and get my high from ideas. Satisfaction from ideas lasts longer, since your pleasure comes more than from ‘using’ it, usually from three or more sources within it.
I have minimal ‘fail’ rate with true wants and around 60% with those I was too hasty about. Still, I’m very glad to get remaining 40%. To me, it is well worth a tradeoff (I do not believe in 100% hits, so no, me being different and more prudent would have lessened the numbers, but not odds)
In economic theory the answer to the question is pretty simple - if the cost of an additional amount of earned money (in terms of free time, mental health, etc.) is greater than possible benefits you should stop earning them.
The difference between theory and real world is that we can't evaluate the value of our resources (e.g. time) and the value of benefits as well.
Definitely a reasonable amount of money is better than a small amount, but where is the border between having enough and being a burned-out person who can't get satisfaction from normal activities anymore?
So the most fundamental question here is ”what actually, is happiness?”
One possible definition is ”my personal subjective feeling of being happy”. But well, it can be cheated easily - using drugs, for example. So still no real answer for me here.
Back to the question of interest - for me wanting is at least as important as having. At least because the satisfaction of receiving strongly depends on how we wanted something and how much effort we make to get it. The happiness of receiving and having lasts too little. I personally have a stupid habit - if I received an e-mail which I know will give me a lot of positive emotions, I try not to open it as much as I can. Just to stay in anticipation.
Money is not always the ultimate answer because only some people manage to keep a nice balance between spending and saving.
I would say happiness is specific to each individual because what makes me happy may not make you happy. But i suppose there is such a thing as too much happiness. Or is there? Maximum happiness will only last for so long until we as humans get used to the new normal. The wiki article describes it well and it's an interesting concept.
I see no point in postponing happiness but if you get even more happiness from not embracing it right away, i suppose that would be okay? It's an odd question because again we're all different and we all pursue our own happiness in very different ways.
That’s why there are many biological mechanisms to control happiness level. Our emotions could be well explained by hormones concentration in our blood. So there is the same situation as with drugs - we become less sensitive to them over time.
There is a nice video about evolutionary aspects of happiness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWk.....mp;app=desktop
Back to the wanting/having problem. Unlike having wanting should be encouraged by the hormonal system, because it helps you to achieve new heights.
“Wanting happiness” and “having happiness” are so different that they even are explained with two different hormones - dopamine in the first case and serotonin in the second.
When you come to think about it, it sounds simple and incredible at the same time - all human achievements, all scientific results - they were done only because someone wanted to be happy.
I really enjoy discussing these philosophical aspects, but could they be applied to real life? Could the understanding of how happiness works biologically help us to become actually happier?
Not quite sure, to be honest, haha, although I think I'm a pretty happy person :3
But there's only so many items you can buy that will have this effect.
I do believe a hobby can create a lot of happiness, depending on what it is and how seriously one takes it.
video games are good distractions but i don't think they bring real happiness to my life, i feel more happy when i receive a hug from someone kindhearted and nice, i don't like money because it does get misused and spread greed and negativity but its also important to keep enough to live properly, i feel like there is a very precise balance of money and stability needed to feel truly happy along with keeping people who are important to you happy as well, i still want hugs more than expensive gifts, or i'd love sharing coffee and walking in the snow with a friend more than something a store can give
But those without friends and/or family may have a harder time if they feel like that compared to connecting with items instead.
I make enough money that if I want something (anything) I can buy it. I always get buyer's remorse almost immediately after I buy something expensive, because once upon a time I was very poor (and homeless) and had to pinch every penny, so I wouldn't starve, or freeze, or ... you get the picture. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy those things, I still do, but I'm still careful about buying big ticket items. Of course what I consider big ticket is probably in a much higher price range these days.
But the funny thing (or perhaps the sad thing?) is that there is very little I want anymore. I'm told I'm almost impossible to buy gifts for, because I really don't want much. It's not that I have a lot either, it's just that I feel I have more than enough. I get more of that 'buying a new thing' experience out of the instruments I make now as a hobby.
And circling back to that original thought, yes, money can buy happiness, though some people will always be unhappy no matter what. For them, money can buy professional help Though to be honest, I found my happiness long before I got rich.
I never, ever, want to slog through that grind again, in the virtual or real world.
The question you should ask, is *why* do you feel the need for something? To feel good? No, again, I ask - why do you feel the need? Why do you think it makes you feel better?
For me, after resolving the issue that the *why* introduced, it was all I needed to find content with less.
I also don't get to attached to the things I have. Everything eventually breaks, fades, unravels, etc. But that's just life. It applies to material objects, people, beliefs all the same.
If I want something enough weather it be out of necessity or leisure. I make sure to stay realistic in knowing weather or not chances of me ever owning it are a possibility or not.
I often found myself with stuff I never really asked for. Toys as a kid I never had a interest in. A strong, big body, perfect for football but I hate sports. A car my mom's co-worker was selling for a good price but nothing close to the brand or style I prefer.
Example. Sure I want a mint-condition 1980's Monte` Carlo. But those are so rare and expensive these days I've accepted it's never gonna be a thing and I just need to focus on keeping my little Nissan rolling. However I do want a new Motherboard for my computer. The prices are reasonable and I do need it. Thus I'll be working to get it.. eventually.
tl:dr
Just because you have something doesn't always mean you wanted it, and just because you want something doesn't mean you'll ever have it.
*For clarity, this quote is from your original post. "Materialism exists because we get excited about something, want to own it, get it, grow used to it,
and then strive again for the "wanting" high by identifying a new thing to covet."
People also get excited about having money, want more money, grow used to having money, then want to have more of it to buy the next big thing money can buy at whatever tier of money you're on. My happiness level when I made 20k and my happiness level now that I make 90k are pretty similar. There was a point in between where I became able to have healthcare and good food and some fun experiences when I was a lot happier, but once I grew used to that amount of money I am still the same person with the same baseline level of happiness. It really depends on what kind of person you are and where you find happiness. If you're an unhappy person then you'll still find things to be unhappy about.